


Small Things

by TheLadyCassandra



Category: Castle
Genre: Angst, Friends to Lovers, Graphic descriptions of violence, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, M/M, Male Slash, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-19
Updated: 2012-11-11
Packaged: 2017-11-16 15:16:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/540852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLadyCassandra/pseuds/TheLadyCassandra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Javier and Kevin both come to a realisation about their feelings for one another and this changes everything, including the way they look at a new case. A murder puts them all at risk but especially Kevin and Javier as they begin to explore thier relationship and how it's surprisingly easy to go from friends to something more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A realisation

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MissCorkyCat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissCorkyCat/gifts).



> Don't own, Don't profit, Don't sue!

It had started out as small things, for both of them. At first they had barely known each other but little moments of friendship began to add up. Standing in a dumpster joking about roadkill furniture. Sighing over Castle’s newest piece of idiocy. Contemplating violence when said idiocy went too far and hurt Beckett. They had an unspoken thing going when it came to Becket. She lived alone and had very little in the way of family. Over the years they had come to know her, and they knew she would have their backs. They didn’t have to talk about what they would do for her. Both of them knew they would go all the way to protect the woman they had come to see as a sister.

When the threat of a dirty bomb had loomed over the city, and Ryan and Esposito had been in a race against time to find their partners, neither of them had spoken of the sick panic clenching at their insides. But it was there. And when they found them, the relief of the moment had them giddy. So giddy, in fact, that they needed each other for support. They leaned on one another as doctors worked over Castle and Beckett; both of them remembering what it had felt like to see their friends slumped in each other’s arms, as cold and pale as death. They’d made quick work of getting them out of the freezing truck and Ryan could remember how still Beckett had been as he’d wrapped his arms around her; lending her his body heat. He’d caught Esposito’s eyes as his partner had done the same for Castle. He’d seen the same mix of relief and fear. They’d sat down side by side on the bonnet of a nearby car and watched and waited. When they’d been told that their partners were out of danger it had been the most natural thing in the world to lean on one another but this time it was different. Maybe it was the relief, or the adrenaline, or just that they were exhausted but there was something different in the way they comforted each other. Something that had both of them thinking about the way it started- with small things. Something that had both of them sitting up at night remembering that small things had turned into big things. That the first sparks of friendship had grown into something solid. Something a man could depend on- no matter what the crisis.

Kevin Ryan sat on his couch; the one Esposito had joked about constantly for the past three years, and looked at the TV. There was some late night reality show playing but he didn’t really see it. He saw chocolate brown eyes instead. Eyes set in a face that was as familiar to him as his own. When he had discovered that Jenny was cheating on him, Esposito had been the first person he had turned to. He could still remember clearly the business with Esposito’s old partner. Ike Thornton. He could remember the nausea he’d felt as gun shots rang out in rooms that were suddenly far too many stairs away. He could remember demanding to know where his partner was, all the while fighting his panic and fury. He usually kept a tight rein on his temper but when Holliwell had hesitated, he’d forgotten everything except the need to know if his partner was alive. The relief that swept through him at the sight of a whole, unharmed, Esposito leaning over the injured Ike Thornton was enough to make his kneed weak. He’d sunk down beside the two men and let the feeling run through him in unchecked waves. But that was okay, right? Esposito was his partner. He had the right to care about his well-being. Even to the extent that he still had nightmares about endless flights of stairs and gunfire echoing from the walls as he ran.  
He sighed. He was man enough to admit when he was bullshitting himself. He cared about Esposito a lot more than any other partner he’d ever had. Come to think of it he’d got in more trouble with Esposito than any other partner he’d ever had. That whole thing with Hal Lockwood was a prime example of the fixes they could get themselves into. He could still remember the burn of ice-cold water in his throat and lungs. The ridiculous crack Esposito made about Lockwood’s mother. The look in that goons eyes as he stood over him with a gun. His partner’s furious shouts as he braced himself for the impact of a gun… which never came. Beckett and Castle had saved them but something had started to change that night. And the events of the past few days had only acted as a catalyst for that change. With a rare burst of anger he leapt off the couch and began to pace. It used to be that touch was natural for the two of them. It still was. He found it the most natural thing in the world to touch the other man. But he was fairly sure that the contact he really wanted from Esposito was the type the other cop would be willing to give, or want. Kevin Ryan sighed as he sat down. He was at least halfway into being in love with his partner and feeling truly miserable about it.

Javier Esposito was sat on his couch staring blindly into space. There was loud music coming from the next door apartment but he wasn’t really interested in listening. He was contemplating his partner and wondering just when it was that he got so messed up. Himself, that was, not Ryan. There had been a moment earlier when he’d thought he’d seen a flash of something in the other man’s eyes. Something that had his pulse quickening. He thought back to when it had begun and realised that he didn’t know. It had started with the small things and just got bigger, he supposed. That moment with the triple killer had been a big part of what he felt now, he realise. His memories of that night were blurred except for a few crystal clear moments. Running along behind Beckett; his gun drawn. Fear that had his blood running cold. Castle’s shout that Ryan needed an ambulance and the sight of his partner’s crumpled body on the floor. Esposito swore that his heart had simply stopped until he heard the other man’s weak mumble from ground level. On suddenly wobbly legs he’d sunk down to untie Ryan and help him into a sitting position. His partner had been paler than usual, which was saying something, but Esposito had seen that he was going to be OK. And relief had hit him like a fist in the gut, so that- just for a second- he wasn’t quite sure who was supporting who. Ryan had come out of that with a few bruises but it could have been so much worse.

Almost without his permission his mind skipped back to another night that could have had a disastrous outcome- thanks to him and his big mouth. He half- grinned. You had to admire a guy who could make a joke about catholic school whilst being plunged headfirst into freezing water. It took guts to jerk around a guy like Hal Lockwood but Ryan had managed it with considerable panache, despite their situation.

“Shoot out one of his kneecaps.”

Esposito could hear Lockwood’s voice as clearly as if the man was stood next to him. The sound of the gun being primed was one that haunted his nightmares even now. If Beckett had been even thirty seconds later then the other man would have paid a heavy price for a cheap crack Esposito made about a murderer’s mother. That was probably the night that things really started to change. The moment earlier between the two partners had just shown Esposito that the change had been happening. He groaned. Who was he kidding? He was the one changed, not Ryan. He wouldn’t risk the friendship they had, no matter what he felt for his partner. Even if what he felt might be something close to love.

Kevin Ryan stood outside his best friend and partner’s apartment. He didn’t know what he was doing there. He was crazy; that was it. The stress of the last few months had driven him completely insane. In reality he was in a padded room in a strait-jacket. This was nothing but a hallucination formed by his fevered mind. He wished. He was fairly sure this was reality. Not even a hallucination could be this strange. He was about to do something that would probably ruin one of the best friendships he had ever had. Before he lost his nerve completely he reached out and tapped on the door. He wished his hands weren’t shaking quite so much.

The last thing Javier Esposito expected to see when he opened his door was his partner, looking like a lamb sent to slaughter. There were smudges under his eyes and he didn’t appear to have changed clothes since he’d left the precinct. He was still armed- Esposito could see the bulge of the gun at his hip.

“What’s up, bro?” he asked and his partner jerked guiltily.

“Nothing,” he replied but he knew Esposito didn’t believe it.

“You look like hell,” the Hispanic detective told his friend as he took his coat. Ryan had to school himself not to react to the sweep of fingers across his shoulder blades. That wasn’t what the other man wanted. 

Don’t linger, Esposito told himself. Just take the coat and move on. The last thing he wants is his work partner- he stressed the word in his mind- groping at him.

“What’s on your mind?” he asked “Is it private or can I help you work it out?” He regretted his choice of words immediately. His mind nose- dived into the gutter as he thought of all the ways he could… work… his partner. He clamped down on those thoughts ruthlessly. They were not helping his “leave Kevin Ryan unmolested” campaign.

“I think you can help me work this out,” said Ryan. Was it his imagination or did his partner look slightly flustered? Maybe, just maybe, this wasn’t going to be as complete a disaster as he’d predicted. He took a breath and decided to plunge straight into the deep end.

“We’re partners, right?” he asked. OK, maybe not the absolute deep end.

“‘Til the wheels fall off,” was Esposito’s immediate response. “I’d go to the wall for you, bro,”

“Same here,” he told the other man. “We make damn good team, right?” he continued.

“What’s this about?” asked Esposito, starting to worry about his partner’s sanity. They were a fantastic team. Everyone who saw them in action said that.

“What if I care about you more than I’d usually care for a partner?” Kevin asked carefully, staring into the other man’s eyes to gauge his reaction.

“We’re good friends,” said Javier, equally carefully. Blue eyes stared into brown but neither gave way. Kevin sighed. His partner was going to make this hard for him.

“What if I care for you in a … romantic way?” he elaborated and couldn’t keep up his scrutiny of the other man’s eyes. He studiously examined his feet, the carpet, the doorframe- anything that would keep him from having to see disgust in his friends face. Finally, the silence was too much for him and he reached out to grab his jacket.

Javier watched his partner walk away in a kind of numb haze. Finally, he figured out how to speak.

“Wait,” he called “Kev, don’t go.” The other man paused but didn’t turn back.

“It’s fine, Esposito,” he said tonelessly “I should never have come here. I’m sorry.” Javier could have kicked himself. Underneath the carefully worded apology he could hear the hurt in the other man’s voice. No matter how you braced yourself for it; rejection stung like a bitch. And Kevin thought that his silence meant rejection. Shit. He was officially an idiot. Words weren’t gonna cut it though. Not this time. He reached out and, this time, allowed himself to linger. To brush fingers along tense shoulders. To appreciate the play of muscles under his fingertips. To trace lines up his partner’s chest and throat until he was cupping Kevin’s face.

“I think,” he said slowly, making sure that the other man was looking him right in the eye “that if you were… romantically… interested in an idiot like me,” he paused for effect “It would probably be about the best damn thing that’s ever happened in my life.” he finished on a husky whisper. They were close now; so close that their breaths mingled, and Javier could see the relief in the other man’s eyes. Relief that, rather rapidly, turned into something mischievous and slightly sultry.  
They seemed to be on the same page, Kevin decided, so it looked like the next move was his. It was the simplest thing in the world to lean in and press his lips to his partner’s. He kept the kiss light at first, almost questioning, but the press of the other man’s tongue soon made it easy for him to forget his vow to take things slowly. The kiss was heat and sweetness and fierce need all combined in one delicious package and gift-wrapped in the spicy scent that was part cologne and part Javier himself. When the need for air finally made them draw back Kevin was pleased to note that Javier’s eyes were glazed over and he seemed to be having difficulty breathing. Leaning forward again he ran a teasing series of nipping kisses along the other detective’s jaw line.

Kevin had no idea, Javier decided, what those nibbling little caresses were doing to him. Driven by a need to possess he ran his hands down his partner’s chest to hook in the waistband of his slacks and pull him closer. With their hips flush against one another it was clear that the kiss affected them both equally. Javier felt his partner jerk against him as he sought another kiss and decided that they’d both be more comfortable in a bed. Or maybe the couch. OK definitely the couch. It was closer. But Kevin appeared to have other ideas. He spun them round quickly and Javier could feel himself losing his balance until his back was to the wall. Then Kevin changed the angle of the kiss and Javier forgot everything except the burning need to feel skin on skin. He was dimly aware of buttons popping and cloth ripping but he didn’t care.  
Kevin Ryan was desperately searching for some of the finesse that usually marked his lovemaking. He couldn’t find any. The feel of his partner’s skin was too drugging. He literally ached for Javier’s hands on his body. He wanted this to be right though. Wanted this to be slow. Wanted to savour the experience.

“Javi,” he murmured “Wait. Stop.” He pushed at the hands fumbling at his belt buckle.

“Kev?” asked Javier, his voice blurred with desire.

“It’s not that I mind having you against the wall,” he told the Hispanic detective, amusement warring with lust in his voice “But I want to do this right.”

“If you mean wining and dining then I think we’re a bit past the dating stage.” Javier said bluntly.

“No, I mean on a bed and taking it slow. Savouring things,” he took the other man’s arm and pulled him towards the bedroom “Don’t you wanna go slow with me?” he breathed in his partner’s ear as he shut the door and flicked on a lamp. The remains of his shirt were discarded as he pushed his partner to the bed. He smoothed himself down the length of the other man’s body and began to undo shirt buttons one by one, placing kisses on every inch of skin he exposed. Spreading the shirt wide he allowed himself the moment to just appreciate what he saw. The need to touch finally became too much and he ran his hands down his partner’s chest and stomach and barely, just barely, brushed his fingers over the bulge in the other man’s pants. Javier bucked up towards him, a strangled sound that he couldn’t quite stifle escaping his throat.

“Kevin,” he whispered “please.” His partner grinned as he undid Javier’s belt buckle with excruciating slowness.

“Oh Dios,” the Hispanic detective breathed “Querida.”  
Did Javier know, Kevin wandered, how sexy he looked right then? Did he know what those whispered Spanish endearments and curses did to the Irish detective’s control?

Later, Javier would deny with every fibre of his being that he ever begged. But right then he needed Kevin's hands on him.

“Kevin. Por Favor.” he gasped, not even noticing that he had slipped into Spanish. Finally, finally, his partner touched him with teasing strokes from root to tip. Javier bucked against his hand, too far gone in pleasure to hear- or care about- the whimpering noises he was making. Somehow Kevin knew exactly what Javier wanted, needed, and set up a caressing rhythm that was just firm enough and just fast enough to drive him crazy. He balanced on the edge of control and, losing it, fell into a climax so intense that he was almost certain that, for a moment, he lost consciousness.

When he came back to himself, Kevin was watching him with an expression that could only be described as smug.

“Time for some payback,” Javier whispered as he saw how hard the other man was inside his pants. He pushed the Irish detective onto his back and, in one smooth move, released him from his confinement.

“My turn, mi amante,” he breathed as he closed his fingers around Kevin’s engorged member. Kevin knew that he made a sound close to a sob as his partner stroked him but he didn’t care.

“Javi,” he moaned. Long forgotten words sprang to his lips. Words that claimed ancestry from the heart of Ireland.

“Mo ghra.” My love. His partner gripped him firmly and Kevin surrendered to an orgasm that left him feeling like his bones had liquefied.  
They cuddled together, spoon-style, slightly sticky but satiated.

“Wow,” breathed Kevin finally “Why the hell did we wait so long to do that?”

“I’m trying to remember but my brain just melted,” Javier breathed back. He felt, rather than heard, Kevin’s chuckle. The Irish detective manoeuvred himself around until he was facing his Hispanic partner.

“Javi,” he began, and his tone was more serious “What are we going to do about work?” he asked.

“We’ll carry on as normal,” the other answered “There’s no laws against what we’re doing. Nothing needs to change because we care about one another like this.”

“You know how people feel about partners sleeping together,” Kevin sighed “I don’t want anyone to think that our work could get screwed up by our relationship.”

“People will think that at first,” agreed Javier “but they’ll soon see that we fit together no matter what our relationship is.” And he smoothed is hands over his lover’s body to prove just how well they fit together. Kevin’s breath hitched as the other man began to follow the path of his hand’s with his lips. A sudden thought came to him and he clutched at Javier’s shoulders.

“What about castle?” he gasped “You know what he’s like. He’ll probably write a gay sex scene into his next book!”

“Kev,” sighed Javier “Stop worrying, shut up and kiss me.” He grinned “In that order. As they kissed Kevin soon forgot everything except the need to possess and be possessed. It was a need that Javier was happy to fulfil.


	2. Murder

Naturally, they slept in the next morning. Nothing of Javier’s fit Kevin so he was forced to wear his slacks and jacket from yesterday. His shirt was beyond redemption and he knew he looked slightly odd in Javier’s oversized clothing. They raced downstairs and into Javier’s car, making it into the bullpen just as the clock was turning over for the hour.

            “We’re not late,” they announced in chorus. Beckett flicked an eyebrow and opened her mouth but Castle beat her to it.

            “Oh- oh!” he crowed “What have we here? Ryan and Esposito doing the walk of shame?” He grinned ebulliently.

            “Run of shame, more like,” muttered Kevin, who was still trying to catch his breath from the race up the stairs. They hadn’t wanted to risk waiting for the elevator.

            “Not even a denial?” demanded Castle. Esposito couldn’t help but laugh. The man looked like a puppy that he’d just kicked.

            “Denial of what?” he asked guiltily, more to humour the writer than anything else.

            “You and Ryan were together last night!” accused Castle gleefully. His grin threatened to split his face in half. Kevin muttered something short and irritable under his breath. Javier didn’t quite catch it but he could tell it wasn’t polite. Or probably even anatomically possible. Kevin didn’t curse much but when he did it was always slightly shocking to hear how inventive he could become.

            “Grouchy, Ryan,” said Beckett calmly “did Esposito keep you up last night?” She smirked as she and Castle high- fived one another. And that was it. The world may have moved for Kevin and Javier but life was going on just as normal. Beckett’s phone went off and she turned away from the group slightly. Castle took the opportunity to leap into his best “annoying writer” mode.

            “Can I put this in my book?” he begged “The subtext is all there in Heatwave. It would be so easy to put it into play in Naked Heat. The fans would totally love it if Raley and Ochoa-” he paused, interrupting his own train of thought. “I bet,” he said excitedly “That the LGBT community would be lining up to buy it!”

            “Glad we could boost your ratings,” muttered Esposito as he reached for his drink.

            “I wonder where I could fit in a sex scene,” mused Castle “I’ll probably need help with that he added and grinned smugly as Esposito choked on his mouthful of coffee.

            “We’ve got a homicide,” announced Beckett, putting away her phone. She watched with amusement as a rather red- faced Ryan reached across to pound on a gasping Esposito’s back. Rolling her eyes she grabbed her jacket. “Come on, children,” she sighed “Let’s go play at a crime scene.”

            The young man was beaten so badly that his limbs were distorted and twisted and blood stained the concrete he lay on. By some cruel trick of fate, his face was nearly untouched. Only a thin trickle of blood at his temple reflected the damage done to the rest of his body. His dark blue eyes stared vacantly into space and death gave his skin an unnatural pallor.

            “Jesus,” breathed Kevin “Poor kid.” A crowd was already gathering at the crime scene tape, drawn to the grisly spectacle of death.

            “What we got, Lanie?” Beckett asked the M.E.

            “Cause of death is massive internal haemorrhaging,” Lanie said in clinical tones “No sign of weapons used. I’d say he was beaten to death with fists and feet. Multiple assailants. At least six.”

            “Time of death?” asked Beckett.

            “I’d say early this morning- three or four am.” Lanie told her. A sudden commotion by the tape caught their attention and they saw a pale faced youth ducking under. He avoided the uniforms guarding the scene and took a few steps until he had an unobstructed view of the body. And Beckett felt her heart twist at the sudden anguish on his face.

            “Tye,” he gasped. Right before their eyes he crumpled, his legs seemingly no longer able to hold his own weight. Beckett was closest and eased him down as he fell. His face was snow white and, instinctively, she wrapped her arms around him. This was one part of the job she knew she could never even begin to get used to. From his response she guessed that he and the victim had been close. Brothers, perhaps. Then Ryan and Esposito were there and helping her with the youth. They worked in smooth tandem to gather up the distraught young man and take him away from the crime scene. Kate watched them go for a moment until she felt Castle’s presence at her shoulder.

            “A group of people somewhere did this without even thinking of the consequences,” she said, not looking at him. When she did turn there was anger mixed with determination in her eyes. “We will find them,” she said “and they will be put to justice.” Castle nodded, for once serious, and offered her hand to her feet.

            Kevin’s car was closer, and less threatening than, the patrol cars. Javier guided the young man to sit down in the passenger seat and Kevin offered him a drink from the flask of tea he kept for situations like these. Some of the youth’s colour came back as he sipped at the warm, sweet liquid.

            “I’m Detective Ryan and this is Detective Esposito,” Kevin said gently “I’m sorry to bother you at a time like this,” he continued “but we need to ask you a few questions.”

            “Sure,” the youth replied. His voice was hoarse and empty.

            “You obviously knew the victim,” said Kevin “What’s your name?”  
            “David,” said the young man “David Brookson. And, yes, I knew him. His name is…was…Tye Malloy. He was my-” David stopped and both detectives saw how he flinched away, as though automatically bracing himself for a blow. They saw the breath he took to prepare himself. “My boyfriend,” David said finally “We were lovers.”

            “We’re sorry for your loss,” said Javier softly.

            “No you’re not!” spat David; anger so much easier than grief “You don’t give a damn about my loss. You’re just doing your jobs and there’s nothing you can do to bring Tye back to me!” He was on his feet now and green eyes flashed in fury. Fury that couldn’t quite hide the pain.

            “We’ll do the best we can to find who did this.” Javier said as reassuringly as he could.

            “We can’t bring Tye Malloy back,” Kevin said “but we can try to find his killer. Please let us try and help you.”

            “The last time I went to cops they didn’t give a flying fuck.” David said quietly “I survived what those bastards did to me. But Tye didn’t.”

            “You were attacked before?” Kevin asked; notebook and pen in hand. David leaned to one side and pulled his shirt up. Across his ribs there were lines of scarring.

            “They had a knife when they did me,” he said tonelessly “I lived. Tye found me bleeding and saved my life. Now they’ve come after him. And I wasn’t there to save him.”   
               
            “This wasn’t your fault,” Kevin said gently “If you think you know who the killer was then please tell us.”

            “I’m a student at the college.” David began “I was in my first year when Tye and I met. I was attacked not long after we got together. A few members of the football team. The future of our country.” He sneered as he said it, making the words a mockery. “Brawny, bullnecked and as homophobic as they come,” he told the two detectives bitterly.

            “We’re very sorry,” Javier said softly “Thank- you for your time and co-operation.” he added and Kevin could see that, while the words were rote, the feeling behind them wasn’t.

            “Can we get you anywhere?” he asked David, not sure that the other was completely steady on his feet.

            “I’ll call my parents,” the youth said “They’ll pick me up.” He fished out a phone, and then turned back to the two detectives. His eyes were shadowed and every movement seemed to take a lot of effort. “Thank- you,” he said quietly before walking away.

            “Poor kid,” sighed Javier. Kevin reached out and gripped his arm briefly. Although the contact only lasted a fraction of a moment, Javier felt immeasurably better for it.

            “Let’s go tell Beckett,” he said and they wound their way around parked cars and back to the crime scene. The body was being wheeled past on a gurney and they sidestepped to let it past.

            “What we got?” asked Beckett and Kevin flipped out his notebook.

            “Victim’s name was Tye Malloy,” he began “The guy at the scene was David Brookson, his boyfriend.”

            “Apparently,” Javier picked up where Kevin left off “There’s a large anti- gay attitude around here. Brookson says he was beat up two years, and he’s got the scars to prove it.”

            “He know the attackers?” Castle asked.

            “Says members of the college football team did a number on him.” Javier told the writer.

            “He thinks the same people killed Malloy.” Kevin told Beckett.

            “Have uniforms bring them in,” instructed Beckett “We’ll put them in a box and see if we get anything. Castle, you’re with me,” she added as she turned to go.  
            “You OK?” Kevin asked, reaching out to twine his fingers with Javier's.

            “It gets to me,” his partner admitted “Some guys beat him because he wasn’t straight and now there’s a chance they’ve killed his boyfriend for the same reason. What with you and me… it just gets to me,” he finished and Kevin squeezed his hand.  
   
            “I know,” he said “but the least we can do is put these guys away for as long as possible.”

            “Yeah,” sighed Javier and they turned for their car. Eyes followed them. An older man was watching them from a nearby building, a hard look on his face. He frowned. He’d dealt with law enforcement personnel before. They were tedious but, in the long run, they were easy enough to deal with. He’d arrange for there to be an example when the opportunity arose.

            Beckett stared at the youth across from her. He hadn’t spoken a word since he had entered the room; leaving his lawyer doing all the talking. He was certainly strong enough to have beaten a man to death, she supposed. He was definitely muscled enough to have her wondering about steroid usage.

            “Mr Mason,” she said, not allowing her frustration to show through “You have bruising on your knuckles. Bruising consistent with a fist fight. No-” she corrected herself “Bruising consistent with beating a man to death.” She followed the verbal attack with visual; laying out pictures of the battered body of Tye Malloy. James Mason didn’t even flinch. “Do you know this man?” she demanded. James Mason spoke his first word of the interview.

            “No,” his voice was disinterested.

            “Are you sure?” she pressed “because I’m wondering where you did that to your hands.”

            “Boys and I were playing bloody knuckles,” he shrugged.

            “Where were you Saturday night?” she asked.

            “With my boys at a private venue,” he said calmly.

            “Can anyone vouch for that?” she asked. He shrugged.

            “Staff members,” he said “And my Dad.” Kate sighed. This was getting her nowhere.

            “Thank- you for your time,” she said reluctantly and watched them leave with a bitter taste in her mouth.

            “Beckett.” She turned as Ryan and Esposito poked their heads through the door.

            “Anything?” she asked, not really expecting an answer.

            “No,” Esposito shook his head “Not a thing. If they did do this then they’ve had time to practice their stories.”

            “Even tried playing up our relationship a bit,” said Ryan “Didn’t even get a rise out of Black. He’s a tough guy.” He grinned suddenly “Castle saw the interview and he’s been in his writing corner ever since.” Beckett glanced over at the tiny table in the far corner of the room and smirked at the writer’s frantic typing.

            “I’d wondered where he’d got to,” she said, a reluctant smile still on her lips. A smile that faded as she glance at the clock. “It’s late,” she said “You guys wanna call it a day?”

            “I’ve got paperwork to do,” groaned Esposito  
.  
            “And I have a meeting with the principal of the college,” added Ryan.

            “Do you need-” began Beckett but he cut her off with a headshake.

            “I’ll be fine,” he told her “Go home and sleep, Kate. You look wiped out.” Beckett knew he meant it. They rarely used her first name so she probably looked as tired as she felt for Ryan to drop the formalities.

            “Be careful,” she told him and he grinned.

            “It’s been a while since I’ve been in front of a head teacher but I’m fairly sure I’m a little old for detention,” he said, ignoring her exasperated eye roll.

            “You obviously never met the dragon who ran my school,” Castle announced from behind them “I wouldn’t be so sure about my safety if I were you Ryan.”

            “I’ll take my chances,” Ryan called over his shoulder as he entered the elevator.

            “See you boys,” said Beckett, hurrying after him to share a ride down. The last thing she heard was Castle saying to Esposito “So… about this sex scene.” She couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face.

            Kevin sat patiently in the foyer of the college. Lessons were long over but the secretary assured him that the principal was in his office. He wished he knew the man’s name. The records that they had been sent were not up to date so and he had no idea who he was going to be talking to.

            “He’ll see you now,” the secretary announced cheerfully. He stood and followed her to an opulently furnished office. The man behind the desk looked vaguely familiar and his heart sank as the secretary announced “Detective Ryan to see you, Mr Mason.” Mason. Edward Mason. The father of one of their main suspects in an on-going investigation. Damn. At the hard look the man was giving him, he wished all of a sudden for back-up. Oh well, he mentally sighed. Might as well get this over with.

The interview went about as well as expected. Mason was polite, barely, but absolutely useless. Kevin shook hands with a false smile plastered firmly on his face before he left. It was dark outside, and cold with it, and he realised with a start that winter was nearly there. Fumbling with his keys, he didn’t notice anything odd about the approaching car. The squeal of rubber on tarmac was his first sign that something was wrong. He went for his gun on instinct but could only fire off one shot before they were on him, spilling out of the car and mobbing him. The shot went wild, ricocheting off of a car door and embedding itself in a concrete pillar. The first blow he took connected solidly with his gun arm and he didn’t even have time to curse before the weapon went flying. He already had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. No matter how well trained you were there were always going to be situations like these. The no- win kind. He went low, below the belt, and dropped one of his attackers with a well-placed knee. Now wasn’t the time for pretty fist cuffs; he knew that. He was quite probably fighting for his life, so he didn’t mind fighting dirty. He took a blow to the head that dazed him momentarily and felt his arms being pinned. Bracing himself against his attacker he kicked out with his feet and felt someone fall back. He wrenched an arm free and rammed an elbow into the nose of the man holding him. Blood spattered the back of his neck and, as he felt the hold loosen, he twisted his leg round and floored his attacker. And knew the moment that he’d done it that he’d made a mistake. The man went down all right but he took Kevin with him. The rough impact with concrete winded him and, as he lay dazed, a boot connected high in his ribs, leaving pain skittering up his chest and neck. And he knew that it was over. All he could do now was roll with the blows and hope for a miracle.

            He ignored the instinct to roll into a foetal position in favour of imprinting his attackers into his memory. They’d covered their faces but he looked for any features he might be able to identify them by. He wanted to put these six guys away for good. Six men. His cops mind ignored the pain and began making connections. Were these the six men who had killed Tye Malloy? Hand hoisted him up to take a backhander across the face. Even as he fell he realised that he recognised the ornate ring that had just split his lip. Carl Dunn. One of their suspects. A boot slammed into his lower back, and pain rammed icy fingers into his body.

            “Faggot.” One word; hissed, but the voice was low. Low enough to be Chris Gains. Another suspect. Hands lifted him and a knee slammed into his lower ribcage. His attackers were strong. Hadn’t Beckett wondered about steroid use? A kick in the hip flipped him over and his body sang in pain. A strong kick. Strong enough for a football player? There was a sudden explosion of agony as hands gripped his shoulders and wrenched. The pain made him feel sick. He could barely breathe through it. He was kicked again and felt something in his ribcage crunch. He couldn’t see through the pain, couldn’t breathe, and couldn’t scream. Was this how Tye Malloy had felt, he wondered? The crunch in his ribs turned into a snap as he was kicked once more. His thoughts wondered to Javier. His partner. His lover. Another kick in the ribs had darkness creeping in at the edge of his vision. He hoped Beckett kept Javi away from this crime scene. He didn’t want the other man seeing him like this. Broken. Battered. An empty shell. A kick in the skull had oblivion finally swirling up to take him. The last thing he saw was a number-plate. He took the digits with him into the darkness.


	3. A Crime Scene

Small Things- Chapter Three: A Crime Scene

Javier Esposito was worried. He’d finished his paperwork and was waiting in the now empty bullpen for his partner to turn up. The college was a ten minute drive way and Kevin had only been going to ask some routine questions about the attack on David Brookson. Three hours later Javier was starting to worry about the location of his lover. He was already regretting letting the other man go alone to the interview. If it hadn’t been routine procedure he would have insisted instead of giving up so easily when the other man had said he didn’t need backup. Another minute ticked past on the clock and Javier gave up and flicked out his phone. He might be interrupting Kevin’s interview and the other man might be pissed at him but he would risk it. When the phone rang and rang without an answer his anxiety crept up another notch. Kevin always answered his phone. Always. He tried not to give in to full blown panic as he dialled Beckett’s number. It was possible that Kevin was with her after picking up a juicy lead. He hoped like hell that that was the explanation here. An uneasy feeling in his gut warned him that the evening wasn’t going to have the happy ending he was hoping for.

“Hello?” Beckett’s voice was dulled by sleep and Javier realised with a sinking heart that there was no way his partner was there if Beckett had been asleep before picking up the phone. As clearly and quickly as he could he explained his fears. By the end of the discussion Beckett was completely awake and her voice on the phone was grim. “Did you try Castle?” she asked but they both knew that if Kevin had found anything he would have gone to one of the two detectives first. “Call him.” Beckett said crisply “I’ll pick him up on the way in. See you in twenty minutes.”

The phone ringing cut Richard Castle off mid-sentence. Alexis absently handed him the phone he was fumbling to find and watched as the smile on his face drained away to be replaced by a serious look that her father rarely wore.

“I’m coming down,” he said to whoever was calling, Beckett probably, “Give me two minutes.” He was already reaching for his coat as he hung up the phone. “Ryan’s missing,” he said by way of explanation as he was walking out the door “Beckett’s giving me a lift. Hopefully it’s nothing but…” he didn’t finish the sentence and the two women closed their eyes at the implication behind that “but”. Alexis looked close to tears as the door closed behind him and Martha wrapped her arms around the young woman.

“They’ll find him,” She said reassuringly but she couldn’t deny that a chill had come over her as well. She was not usually religious but she still sent up a quick prayer for the Irish detective who she had grown rather fond of.

Castle, Beckett and Esposito half ran down the steps of the college where their partner had last been. The secretary had told them that their colleague had left over two hours ago. It was only as an afterthought that she added that she thought Ryan had gone in the direction of the car park where Tye Malloy had been found. Castle was tapping his phone against his palm until it started working.

“Ryan’s phone is in range,” he said “lowest level of the car park.” Usually the gadgets and apps on the writer’s phone fascinated Esposito but he was already headed for the nearby structure; Beckett’s long legs enabling her to keep up with him easily. The writer followed them and didn’t miss the look that passed between the two of them as they pulled out their guns. Once again he regretted the laws that made it impossible for him to carry his own firearm. He would have liked a weapon right then.

There was a burning in his muscles but Javier ignored it. He was going as fast as he could and only Beckett’s hushed order stopped him at the entrance to the car park.

“Take left,” she whispered “I’ve got right. Castle, take my radio. Call this in and be ready to request an ambulance if I shout.” None of them voiced the thought that he might be calling for a morgue van. Some things didn’t bear thinking about. They had worked their way around two thirds of the place before Beckett caught sight of something that had her heart thudding painfully in her chest. Casting a glance around the rest of the nearly deserted car park she made her way across to Kevin’s abandoned car. Esposito was nearly there and could obviously see something that she couldn’t. Rounding the car she had to fight the urge to be ill. Violence was a part of her everyday life but this was… brutal. She had no other word for it. Kevin Ryan lay in a pool of his own blood. He was so battered that she had difficulty recognising the face she saw every day at work. He lay crumpled with his limbs sticking out at awkward angles. Esposito’s face was stricken as he dropped to his knees to search for a pulse. She was already screaming for the writer to call an ambulance and a CSI team.

The weak throb of a pulse in the other man’s neck had tears filling Javier’s eyes. He moved as close to the unconscious man as he could and pulled of his jacket to try and warm his partner. The material started soaking blood up almost immediately but he didn’t even notice the stains. His hands fluttered as he searched for an unharmed place on his lover to touch but he found nowhere. The desperate need for contact had him holding the other man’s hand, where scraped and bloody knuckles were evidence that he had fought, and fought hard. Even with his Special Forces experience and after years as a cop Javier had never seen someone with injuries as extensive as these who was still breathing. And Kevin was barely breathing. He wanted to do something to help but was afraid to move the other man at all. In the end all he could do was sit, holding his partner’s hand and listening for the sound of the sirens that would herald the arrival of the ambulance. He barely noticed Beckett and Castle pulling off their coats to add to what he’d wrapped around Kevin. When the ambulance arrived there was no argument about who would be riding with the injured man. The medics who arrived at the scene were not hopeful. He could see it in their eyes. But he clung stubbornly to his hope and to the cold pale hand of his lover.

There were one hundred and forty four tiles in the roof of the waiting room that Javier was sat in. Eleven of these tiled were cracked and one seemed to be held together by something that looked like duct tape. He knew this because he’d counted them. Four times. His mind was numb and all he could see behind his eyes was his lover’s pale, blood- streaked face. The hand that landed on his shoulder surprised him and he flinched violently. A little pile of polystyrene confetti that had once been a coffee cup shifted from his knees and fluttered towards the floor like the final flutter of a dying bird’s wings.

“Espo?” Her voice was quiet and he didn’t have to look at her to know that her face would be pinched and drawn. “You with me?” she asked him. He shifted in his seat to look at her.

“Sure,” he said. His voice was hoarse and his eyes red- rimmed. She had never seen him in a state like this. Even after the horrors he had faced as a Special Forces soldier he had managed to hold things together. But now he was falling apart and all she could do was watch and try to help him in any way she could.

“He’s gonna be OK,” she told him. They both knew that she was most likely lying. The doctors had been very honest about their fallen partner’s chances and they had nothing to do except wait for news about the surgery.

“Beckett.” Castle was pulling a chair over from the other side of the room for Martha to sit down. Neither cop had seen the family arrive.

“I told you to go home and get some rest,” Beckett said tiredly.

“I went home,” the writer replied “But we all decided that it was best if we were here.”

“We wanted to wait for him as well.” Alexis added. Beckett noticed how tired Castle’s daughter looked and realised that she didn’t know what time it was. Late, probably.

“Any news?” asked Martha and closed her eyes on a tired sigh when Beckett shook her head.

            “His chances aren’t good,” said Javier emotionlessly. “He might make it. Probably won’t.”

            “You listen to me,” Martha said firmly. Gently, but firmly. “Our Kevin is a fighter and he’s got plenty to fight for. There is no way he’ll give up on us. There is no way he’ll give up on you. You have the right to be upset but don’t let it win. He wouldn’t want that and you know that’s true.” For a second the Hispanic detective looked stricken but after a moment some of the life came back into his eyes. He surprised himself and Castle when he reached up to hug the other man’s mother.

            “Thanks,” he muttered, breathing in the smell of her no doubt expensive perfume. His mother had never worn a scent like that but for some reason he was still reminded of her.

            “Family of Detective Kevin Ryan?” The question came from the doorway and they turned to see a blonde woman in hospital scrubs walking into the room. Her face was grim and Javier's heart somehow sank lower in his chest.

            “Is he…” he began but couldn’t end the sentence. The woman’s face softened slightly but her expression didn’t make the Hispanic cop feel any better.

            “He’s alive,” she said gently “But I have to be honest with you- it doesn’t look good for him. We’ve made him as comfortable as we can but his injuries are extensive. I’m sorry but we’ll most likely lose him. It all depends on the next twenty- four hours and how strong he is.”

            “He’s strong,” Beckett said quietly. Her eyes were red but she wasn’t crying. “He can get through this. We’re not going to lose him.”

            “You’ll know him best,” the doctor agreed “If you have any questions then ask for Dr. Monroe at reception. I have several patients I need to see.”

            “Can we see him?” Castle asked. His face was drawn and his usual half smile was gone. It was strange, Javier thought, to see him so serious. Everything that was normal about his world had been turned upside down and he couldn’t find his bearings anymore. His heart was stuttering out an uneven rhythm in his chest and he was barely able to focus on the woman’s answer.

            “You can visit him but remember that his injuries were extensive.” The doctor said gently. “I’ll have a nurse show you the room. Please make it just a few minutes if you’re all going to visit him. Only one person at a time can sit with him for more than that.”

            “Thank you,” Beckett said. She turned to Esposito and something inside her wrenched. He looked lost and afraid. “Espo?” she asked, tentatively touching his shoulder. Something about the way he held himself made her irrationally afraid that he might shatter under her fingertips.

            “My name is Nurse Lindsey. Are you the family of Detective Kevin Ryan?” A brisk female voice attracted their attention and a petite woman came to stand in front of them. At their nods she smiled reassuringly “Please follow me. He’s in a room just down the hall.”

            When they reached the room she paused outside the door.

            “He’s attached to quite a few devices so we can monitor him as closely as possible. The sight can be quite alarming but as long as you don’t touch anything then it’ll be OK.”   
     
            “How long can we wait with him?” asked Javier. He was surprised at how calm his own voice sounded. The nurse gave him a sympathetic smile.

            “There’s room for one person to stay for a while,” said the nurse “But whoever it is will need to be ready to get out of the way fast if the doctors need access to the patient.” Javier shifted uncomfortably. The patient. It was too impersonal; as though she didn’t care who he was; as though she didn’t care that he was everything.

They trooped through the door that the nurse had indicated and for a moment Javier couldn’t make sense of what he saw. The muddle of tubes and flashing lights was bewildering and he could barely see his lover’s face amongst it all. Beckett was the first to step to the injured man’s bedside. She reached out a hand and Javier noticed the tiny tremor in her fingers that told him as loudly as any words that she was afraid.

            “Hey,” she breathed the word to the unconscious cop. “I’m gonna kick your butt when you’re better, you know. You’ve got us worried.” She smoothed her hand over his hair, like a mother comforting a feverish child. She looked like she wanted to say more but the words escaped her and she stepped away from the bed. Lanie took her place and Javier absently wondered when she had arrived. He hadn’t noticed.

            “What she has planned for you,” the ME said calmly “will look like a walk in the park compared to what I have in mind,” she continued. The gentle grip she had on the Kevin’s hand made it clear that her threats were empty- as did the feather light kiss that she brushed across his unbandaged forehead. She stepped out of the way to make room for the writer and his family.

            “I’m not gonna threaten you,” announced Castle “I’ll leave that to the supposedly gentler sex.” He frowned down at the motionless figure on the bed. “Get better quick, OK. It’ll be boring without you there to tease.” His mother and daughter made slightly watery sounds of exasperation and reached out to squeeze Kevin’s hand gently.

            “Times up,” the nurse, Javier had already forgotten her name, announced from the doorway. “Will one of you be staying?”

            “Yeah,” he said quietly, glancing around to check no one minded. To his relief they all looked ready to back him up. He should have known that they’d understand his need to be there without him actually needing to say it out loud.

            “Are you a relative?” asked the nurse. What the hell was her name?

            “I’m his partner,” he told her. He watched her eyes widen slightly and flick between him and the man on the bed. “His lover,” he clarified and there was no mistaking the shock that briefly flicked across her face before the smile returned. It was slightly different to before; a mask to hide disapproval rather than to portray professionalism.

            “I’ll bring back some paperwork for you to sign,” she said, holding open the door for the rest of them to file out. Castle was the last to leave and Javier was shocked into smiling slightly when the other man made a rude face at the back of the oblivious nurse’s head. The door closed with a click and he still didn’t move. Couldn’t move. The walls he’d built up were crashing down around his ears and he didn’t know what to do.

            “Your paperwork,” said the nurse as she came back in. Her smiling mask was firmly in place as she handed the sheets over. He signed what was necessary and noted down a few of Kevin’s mild allergies. “Thank you,” she smiled and turned to leave with the smile draining from her face the moment she thought she was far enough away for him not to see. He couldn’t care less about her opinion on his relationship. Taking the few stumbling steps required to place him at Kevin’s bedside and staring down at his lover, trying to find words, he felt stupid. He had no idea what to say.

            “Kev,” he started but his voice cracked. “Shit,” he swore, sinking to his knees at the side of the bed. He wrapped his fingers around the other man’s hand and wished more than anything that he felt an answering squeeze. “I’m sorry,” he whispered “I’m so sorry, mi amante. I wasn’t there. I didn’t have your back. I’m sorry.” There was no response from the other cop and he wiped deliberately rough fingers over his eyes. “Don’t you dare leave me, Kevin Ryan,” he whispered, leaning up to brush a gentle kiss over the other man’s lips. Wearily he dragged himself into the hard backed chair he was kneeling beside and leaned his head against the wall. Closing his eyes he focused on the hand he was holding. If he ignored the slight roughness of bandages against his fingertips he could just about pretend that everything was going to be OK. “We’ll get through this,” he told the other man. “I’m here til the wheels fall of Kev. Probably even after that too.” The words didn’t sound as comforting as he wanted them to be and he allowed himself a moment of anger at the bastards who had put them in this position. I will find you, he thought viciously, and heaven help you when I do.

            The buzz and beep of medical machines filled the room as Javier sat waiting for his partner to wake up. He was exhausted but knew that sleep would only bring nightmares and a desperate, guilty part of him didn’t want to stop watching over the other man. Didn’t want to fail him again simply by not being there. So he watched and ignored the gritty feeling behind his eyes in favour of keeping guard over his lover’s limp body.


	4. Chapter 4

Small Things- Chapter Four: Waking

Kevin was struggling his way through layers of drowning fog. He couldn’t figure out which way was up and the constriction around his chest had him increasingly panicked. Why the hell was it so hard to breathe? There was warmth at his side and he focused on the presence he sensed there. Opening his eyes seemed like the biggest challenge he had ever faced but he strived to see; some part of him rebelling against the vulnerability that came with being blind. When he finally forced his eyelids apart he couldn’t help the pained moan. It was too bright and everything was reduced to a teary blur.   
Stubbornly cracking his eyes open another fraction he ignored the instant headache that sprang up behind his retinas. The tears began to clear and, for the first time, he had an idea of where he was. Hospital? Why was he in hospital? He concentrated on the last thing he remembered and felt heat flash over his body as he remembered the night with his partner. They had gone to work the next day and caught a homicide. A boy beaten to death because he was gay. They had canvassed the area. He could remember that. Then they had gone back to the bullpen and he had visited the college. The college by the parking lot.  
The memories hit him like a ton of bricks and he instinctively tried to sit up, to escape, to protect himself, to do anything to get away. He was aware of voices but, lost in reliving the attack, he couldn’t make sense of what they were saying. He was aware of desperate gasping breaths but didn’t realise they were being torn from his own lips. Hands were suddenly on him and as they held him down he realised there was no way he could resist. He lay tense, blinded by bright lights and his own tears, waiting for the next blow. When none came he relaxed slightly only to panic again as he was pulled into strong arms that refused to let him go. His chest was aching and he was trembling violently as he tried to sort past from present.   
“Shhhh, Kev, I’ve got you. You’re safe. I’m here. It’s OK. It’s OK.” Javier breathed over and over as he rocked the other man. The sight of his partner in such distress had shaken the Hispanic detective and he hadn’t even thought when he had pushed his way past the doctors and nurses to comfort his lover. Kevin was still trembling but he seemed oblivious of the cacophony of warning alarms from the diagnostic machines that had been disrupted when he regained consciousness. As the other man’s trembling eased he relaxed his hold slightly but kept his arms in place. “I’ve got you, baby.” His cop’s mind noted the start the nurse gave at the endearment but he put aside his annoyance for the time being. Kevin was the priority now.   
“Javi?” whispered the Irish detective and Javier felt his heart break at the cracked sound of his voice.   
“It’s me,” he whispered back “I’m here, Kev.”  
“Hurts,” whimpered Kevin and flinched violently as a doctor reached towards him. The man raised an eyebrow at Javier’s glare but didn’t back down.   
“Detective Ryan,” he said gently “I want to help you. My name is Doctor Phillip Edwards and I’m standing in for Doctor Monroe who usually treats you. I need to get you laid down and get some things reconnected. If you’re in pain then I can help.” For a moment Kevin’s fingers closed convulsively over Javier’s upper arms but he allowed himself to be manoeuvred away from the other man and back into the bed. He lay quietly through the examinations but no one missed his flinches when he was touched unexpectedly. Javier knew his nervous hovering wasn’t helping but he didn’t know what to do. He was torn between finding someone to kill or gathering up Kevin and never letting him go.  
“Would you prefer pain medication that allows you to stay awake or do you want to sleep for a while?” asked Doctor Edwards as he was preparing an injection.  
“Stay awake,” whispered Kevin. He cleared his throat and winced at the pain.  
“The nurse will bring some ice chips for your throat. We had to intubate you for a while so it’ll be sore but there’s no permanent damage,” he was reassured. The Irish detective nodded and turned his eyes away from the sight of a needle being inserted into his arm.   
“We’ll just leave you to have a talk then, shall we?” the doctor said as he began gathering up his equipment.   
“Thanks,” said Kevin. The ice chips had returned his voice to almost normal and only a slight hint of roughness remained. He was still pale, though, and Javier wanted to find a corner and cry when Kevin turned to look at him. The guilt and pain was rolling off of the other man in waves.   
“I’m sorry, Javi,” he whispered. And Javier Esposito saw red. He would find the bastards who had made his lover think he had anything to apologise for. He would find them and hurt them. Badly.  
“You’ve got nothing to be sorry for, Kev,” he told the other man. “I should have been there. I should have been backing you up and I wasn’t. You don’t need to be sorry, querida.”   
“Couldn’t fight them,” his lover insisted “Should have been stronger. Should have been paying closer attention. Didn’t do enough.”  
“There were at least six of them, Kev,” Javier said gently “They got your gun. There are not many people who could have fought at all, let alone as hard as you did. We’ve been over the crime scene with magnifying glasses. You fought as hard as you could and I don’t have to have been there to know that. We’ve got evidence, Kev. You did everything you could. I’ve had Special Forces training and I wouldn’t have been able to do anything differently. I’m damn proud of you, amante. And I’m the one that’s sorry.”   
“You don’t need to apologise, Javi.” Kevin said “None of us knew. Mason is in this up to his neck. And I’m sorry for that spectacle just now.” He glanced away to the side “Got confused when I woke up.”  
“Don’t be sorry,” Javier took his partner’s hand and brushed his lips over barely healed knuckles “I think you had a right to be confused. I’m jus glad you’re alright.”  
“How long have I been here?” asked Kevin. His muscles ached from more than the attack. He got the feeling he hadn’t moved in a long time. “Javi, tell me,” he insisted when his partner looked like he might try and avoid the question.   
“Nine days,” the other man answered. “For a little while they weren’t sure if you were gonna wake up. And they weren’t sure if you were gonna be… well… you. You took quite a bump on your head, Kev.” Kevin snorted.  
“A bump?” he questioned the other man “Sounds like something Castle would say.”  
“Yeah, well,” said Javi, immeasurably reassured by his partner’s laugh, “He’s been hanging around here with us all as much as he can. Even took to reading sections of his newest book to you. I think he hoped if his writing annoyed you enough then you’d wake up and shove it down his throat.”   
“He been bugging you about his big gay adventure for Naked Heat?” asked Kevin, smirking at Javi’s exasperated expression.  
“Only every minute of the day,” muttered the other man “now you’re awake there’s no escape for you, Kev.”  
“Nah,” laughed the Irish detective “Castle’s a softy. I’ll just pull the injured cop routine and point him in your direction.” He smiled beatifically at Javier’s growl and took the moment to properly look at his partner. He wasn’t pleased at what he saw. “Javi, you look rough as hell,” he told him.  
“Says the man on the hospital bed,” snorted the other man.  
“Well you look like you should be in here with me,” retorted Kevin, then he saw the flash of heat in his partner’s eyes. That wasn’t exactly what he’d meant but if it got Javier horizontal…  
“Interesting offer, querida,” drawled the other cop “I think hospital beds are a little small for that kind of fun, though.” He leaned down and whispered a suggestion that Kevin actually whimpered at. The need that swept through him banished his aches and the bad memories and left him on fire. With his good arm he pulled Javier closer and fitted their mouths together. The kiss started off slow, enough, but didn’t stay that way for long. There was heat and need and relief and pure lust in the way Javi kissed him and Kevin actually groaned when the other man pulled back.  
“Should we come back another time?” Castle was standing in the doorway with a mile wide grin on his face, Beckett behind him. Kevin didn’t consider telling them to go away. At least, not much.  
“It’s good to see you awake, Ryan,” Beckett said as she elbowed castle out of the doorway to get inside the room “How do you feel?”  
“Tired, achy” he replied honestly “but alive.”  
“You gave us all a bit of a fright,” Castle told him “We’ve had an interesting few days without you.”  
“You missed me,” Ryan told him “Admit it.” The writer dropped all pretence of teasing and nodded seriously.  
“Don’t put us through something like that again,” he said, before grinning gleefully “I’ll set Lanie on you. She had some pretty interesting things planned for you.”  
“Don’t look at me,” Javier told his lover who was looking at him beseechingly “You’re on your own when it comes to Lanie.”   
“Coward,” muttered the Irish cop as he sent a glare at the snickering Beckett. “That’s right,” he grumbled “Make fun of the guy who got beat half to death.” He glanced up at their shocked silence. “That’s what happened,” he said matter of factly “I’m not going to dance around the matter. I appreciate you trying to shield me but right now I want details. Could you pin anything on them with the crime scene evidence?”   
“We’ve got them at the scene of the crime. DNA and trace puts them there.” He wasn’t surprised when Beckett was the first to answer him. “They’re denying any involvement,” she continued “Say they were there earlier and had their own punch up. They’ve got members of staff and their father as alibis for the time you were attacked. Mason senior has employed the biggest kickass lawyer he can find and he’s crying about harassment. Castle has a date with one of the maid’s who’s acting as an alibi. I’m pretty sure she’ll roll on Mason if we promise to protect her. With that and your statement, even their high- flying lawyer won’t have a leg to stand on. Hopefully, if David Brookson comes forward to testify, we’ll at least be able to arrest them for the murder of Tye Malloy. After that, with the threat of a cage hanging over their heads, one of them should roll on the others. And that’s what we have. What do you think?”  
“I think you need to get someone in to take my statement as soon as possible,” Kevin told her “The longer we wait the more chance there is that his lawyer will accuse us of fabricating events to make an unlawful arrest. Or whatever it is they say when they think you’ve cooked up a story to cover your ass.” Kevin pinched the bridge of his nose with a pained sigh. His headache was coming back with a vengeance and every heartbeat made his already tender ribs throb.   
“You need to rest,” Javier told him immediately “I’ll call a nurse and get you some more pain meds.”  
“I’m fine,” Kevin began but Javier ignored him in favour of telling Castle to find a nurse.   
“Don’t give me any crap, Kev” Javier said calmly “You were attacked and nearly killed. You need to rest and heal, querida. And, you know,” he added “The quicker you get better, the quicker you can come home.” Kevin pouted but nodded and ignored Beckett’s snort of laughter.   
Castle came back through the door with a nurse trailing behind him. When Javier caught sight of her plastic smile and the barely hidden malice in her eyes he could have groaned. Why hadn’t he warned Castle about her? The last thing Kevin needed after what has happened to him was any hint of the homophobia that had led to the attack in the first place. The nurse went about her business in silence and it was an awkward silence at that. Beckett picked up on the tenseness of the situation straight away but kept her mouth shut. Castle began fidgeting so Javier guessed that he knew something was wrong. Kevin didn’t seem bothered as the nurse finished up and Javier prayed he hadn’t noticed anything. But his partner was a cop and Javier should have known he wouldn’t miss much. When the nurse was gone, and the wrinkles of pain were smoothing out on Kevin’s forehead, the Irish cop turned to his lover.   
“She didn’t like me,” he stated “You look worried. Tell me what’s wrong Javi.”  
“It’s more us she doesn’t like,” Javier said gently and watched understanding flick across his partner’s face. When Kevin reached for his hand he took it and brushed a kiss over the other man’s knuckles.   
“Her loss,” the Irish detective shrugged “If she doesn’t even want to get to know how completely kickass awesome we are then it’s her problem.”  
“I second that,” Castle told the two of them, with his patented ear to ear grin. “Although I might have added sickeningly cute to that list of descriptions,” he added. Javier smirked at that as he eased himself in beside is lover, careful not to jostle him.   
“I think Castle likes you, Kev,” he stage whispered. He grinned at Beckett’s whoop of laughter.  
“Sorry, Rick,” Kevin sighed dramatically “Javi’s just so damn possessive. He’d kick your butt. Looks like we were just never meant to be.”  
“That’s a disappointment,” the writer sighed “How am I going to finish my book?”  
“Seriously, dude?” asked Kevin “There’s this thing called the internet, you know.”  
“Then Alexis would see my search history,” he complained “Do you really want to be responsible for mentally scarring her for life?”  
“She lives with you,” Javier objected “She’s already affected for life. And anyhow, have you seriously not figured out how to delete your search history?” Castle laughed freely and Javier could feel Kevin chuckling quietly against him. He also felt the massive yawn from his partner. “Kev,” he sighed “lie down and go to sleep. I’ll stay here, baby.”   
“Kay,” breathed the other man “Thank you,” he added “All of you.”   
Javier watched him as he slept and thanked a God that he hadn’t thought of in a long time. He had his Kev back, and he was keeping it that way. No matter what. 

If you've come this far then please do leave a comment, even if it's a :) or a :(  
It really would make my day to know what you think of this!


	5. Justice

Javi was watching his partner panic and trying desperately to think of something to say. He was so used to the other man being the calm and collected one that he didn't really know how to deal with this situation. Kevin had just identified the men who had attacked him. And their goddamn son of a bitch of a lawyer had boldly accused him of lying about it and questioned their relationship and the dedication they had to the job. Kevin had lost it. He had been reasonable but there was no mistaking the fire in his eyes and the anger in his tone as he'd set his bag down and began to fumble one handed with the buttons of his loose shirt. Right there, in the middle of the bullpen, with half the force looking on and his left arm strapped to his body, he'd pulled aside the material of his shirt to reveal bruises that were still a sickly looking blue-green despite the ten days he'd spent in hospital after having woken up. When he'd finished speaking, finished laying himself out open and vulnerable for them all to see, he'd shrugged his bag over his shoulder and walked out of the room with quiet dignity. And, following him, Javi knew that there wasn't a cop in the room who wouldn't stand behind them.

Now it was the night before Kevin would stand up at one of the biggest trials of the year. Once a benevolent pillar of the society, Mason Senior was being exposed as a ruthless greedy fraud with a son who was all set up to follow in his footsteps. The trial towards his part in the death of Tye Malloy and the attack on a member of the NYPD was the pebble that brought down an avalanche. Former employers had stepped forward to testify and business rivals were lining up with their accusations, most of which had basis in fact. What had once been a relatively simple murder investigation had turned into the biggest case any of their team had ever worked on. Castle, of course, was in his own personal heaven. Any book he wrote about this would be an instant bestseller. Afer the testimonies today it was certain that Mason senior and Mason junior would be serving at least some jail time, along with the group who had attacked Kevin. The next few days would only determine the amount of time they spent behind bars.

But Javi was starting to worry about his lover. The Irish detective was looking paler and paler. His sleep was restless and, all too often, Javi caught him waking from nightmares. The other man shrugged them off and did his best to act completely normal but Javi knew him better than anyone. He knew that for the first few seconds after a nightmare, when he still wasn't sure where he was, Kevin would fight tooth and nail to get away from any touch. The Hispanic detective had to watch while his lover surfaced from the dream before he could offer what comfort Kevin would allow.

“Amante,” he said gently “It's one in the morning. We've got a big day tomorrow. Let's go to bed.”

“Not tired,” the younger man said immediately “You go. I'll catch up.” Javier didn't believe him for a second.

“Want you with me, baby.” he said “I can't sleep without you.” He'd discovered early on that the best way to get Kevin to do something he didn't want to do was to make him feel as guilty as possible about it. His lover sighed but stopped pacing in favour of walking towards their bedroom. For the meantime they were staying in the older man's apartment for the simple reason that it was bigger and he had a king-size bed. Javi watched with no small amount of appreciation as the other man started to slip out of his clothes, leaving him in plain black boxers. He felt his heart squeeze as he automatically began to catalogue the scars left behind from the attack that had happened just over two months ago. His partners skin was clear of the smudges of bruises but surgery had left a scar twisting round his torso just below his ribs and another over his shoulder joint where a team of surgeons had stitched him back together in an operation taking five hours. His ribs were finally healed though he still ached occasionally. What had worried the older man for a long time were the recurring headaches, although they seemed to be fading now.

Kevin climbed into bed and smiled tiredly at his lover. He flipped the blanket back in a clear invitation for Javi to join him. Well that was one invitation he wasn't going to pass up on. He pulled off his clothes and slid in beside his lover. He rolled over until he was spooning the other man and tried to ignore the pang of hurt when his partner remained stiff against him. Sighing, he closed his eyes. Maybe tomorrow he would be able to get Kevin to open up to him.

Kevin was running as fast as he could but he had no idea where he was. Every corner he took led to another baffling series of turns that he tried to make sense of but couldn't. He knew they were gaining on him but couldn't seem to make any headway. The curses and taunts terrified him and he could hear his breath sobbing in his throat. A turn he took led to a dead end but before he could turn back he was being tackled to the ground. Not again, not again, God, please, not again. Then the pain started and it was as if he was frozen in place; unable to fight back or to run away. All he could do was cry out. He woke to the sound of his own screams and to Javi's desperate whispered reassurances as his lover tried to calm him.

“It's OK, Kev. It's alright, querida. I'm here. I'm here. Just a nightmare, baby. Only a dream. I'm here. I've got you. Kevin, everything’s all right.” He didn't even hear the words; just let them wash over him as he tried to slow his breathing and his racing heartbeat. 

“Javi?” He hated how his voice wobbled halfway throught the words, making him sound like a child asking for his mother. He felt like a child; as lost and confused as he'd been after a nightmare back then.

“I'm here,” murmered his partner “I'm here, Kevin.” The Hispanic detective reached out and curled his arms around his lover, drawing him into his body and rubbing gently over dream chilled skin. “You're freezing, Kev,” he said “Let me warm you, babe,” he added as he reached for the blanket and wrapped it over them both. He'd never seen his lover this affected by his dreams and he was scared for him. There was silence for a while as he tried to bring some heat back into his shivering partners limbs.

“You wanna talk?” he asked finally. He didn't want to push but this wasn't healthy. Kevin needed to talk to someone and if it wasn't him then he was getting him some proffessional help. He was sure that idea would go down like a ton of bricks.

“I'm fine,” the other man muttered. “Let's just go back to sleep.”  
“You're not fine,” Javier insisted “We need to talk about this, Kev. If you can't talk to me then who can you talk to?”

“It's just dreams, Javi. They'll pass with time. Let's not talk about this right now. Please, Javi. I don't wanna talk. I'm fine. I really am.” When the older man didn't look convinced Kevin twisted until he was straddling his hips.

“If you really wanna help,” he murmered as seductively as he could “Then why don't you get me tired? I'm sure if you work hard enough,” he nipped at an earlobe “I'll end up exhausted.” The groan from his lover had a feral smile working it's way across his face. Sinced his accident, they hadn't really been intimate. Javier had been too worried about hurting his lover and his worry had made Kevin hesitant as well. It was way past the time for that to change, the Irish detective decided. He ground down against his partner and was pleased to note that certain parts of the other man were definitely taking a keen interest in events. 

“Are you sure you're ready?” Javi asked gently “I don't wanna hurt you, babe. It's only been a few weeks since you had pretty major surgery.”

“It'll be OK,” Kevin told him “In fact,” he added, sliding his lips down the other's jawline to rest at his pulse, “It's gonna be better than OK.” He bit down with enough force to leave a light imprint of his teeth behind. Javier immediately tilted his head to offer his lover better access to the vulnerable skin at his throat. Kevin shifted to gain better friction for both of them. One of his injuries twinged slightly and, though he tried, he couldn't hide his wince of pain. Javier stopped him immediately.

“Kevin,” he said warningly. The Irish detective gave him the best puppy dog eyes he could manage and the older man sighed as he gave in.

“We do this my way, babe,” he insisted. I don't want you getting hurt. Lie down and let me do the work.” The younger man moved until he was lying on his back in the centre of the bed. His skin was already flushed and his pupils dilated.

“Javi,” he murmered invitingly. It was an invitation the Hispanic detective didn't need twice. He slotted himself over the other man's body, taking most of his weight on his elbows and knees. 

“Kevin,” he whispered, trying to put as much emotion as possible in that one word. The other man reached up with his good arm and brought their lips together. The kiss was fire and heat and left them breathless and aching and wanting more. Their tongues swept together until the need for air had them drawing back. Javier immediately began to nibble and taste along his lover's delicate collarbones. He was obviously doing something right because Kevin's words were becoming more and more unintelligible. Deciding he liked the way his partner fell apart beneath him he began to use every method he had at his disposal to make the younger man come apart. He internally catalogued every response his lover made and noted every sweet spot and erogenous zone. He didn't know how much experience the other man had had with men and he wanted this to be memorable for all the right reasons. He mapped out the smaller body and when he had tasted every inch of it he began to prepare his partner. There would be other times when Kevin could be the aggressor but he wanted their first to be this way around.

His need was an all consuming ache by the time he had the other man stretched and slick enough to receive him.

“Roll over for me, amante,” he whispered, but Kevin shook his head. 

“Wanna see you,” he gasped “Gotta see you, Javi.” The older man would have argued buts his lover's expression stopped him. Giving in, he eased himself gently into tight heat, watching Kevin's face for any sign of pain. He thrust as slowly as he could until he could go no further and waited for some signal that he could move the way he desperately wanted to. Kevin tilted his hips slightly and Javier knew from his delighted gasp that he'd nailed the right spot. He began to undulate against his partner and the other man surged back against him until they found the perfect rhythm. The heat began building and building until they were both close to completion.

“Come with me,” Javi whispered “Come with me, carino.” They reached climax together, shuddering and gasping through a pleasure so acute it was almost pain. Javier eased himself away from his lover and dropped down on the bed at his side, conscious of his still healing injuries.

“I love you,” Kevin whispered and Javier couldn't speak for the immesuarable joy filling him. “You don't have to say it back,” Kevin said hurriedly “I just wanted you to know. I can wait until-” Javier cut him off with a kiss.

“I love you,” he told the other man “I didn't wanna rush you so I waited to hear it from you first. I love you.” he repeated himself. Kevin's smile was like the sun coming up. He wrapped himself around his lover, ignoring Javi's protests that he would hurt himself.

“Mason's going down tomorrow,” he whispered “I'm gonna enjoy watching that.” He grinned cheekily up at the older cop “I'm gonna enjoy you so much more,” he murmered seductively but the effect was ruined by a huge yawn.

“Get some sleep,” Javi snorted amusedly. 

“Night,” Kevin whispered “Love you.”

“Straight back at ya, querido,” Javier murmered quietly. He pulled the other man towards him until they were entangled beneath the covers. “Should have figured this out sooner, Kev,” he whispered to the already sleeping man “I've no idea how I lived without it before.” He soon followed his lover into sleep, certain that nightmares would be kept away for one night at least. After all, he'd found a pretty effective cure.

**Author's Note:**

> In my world, there's no laws against what they are doing! Gotta love the world of fiction! Please leave a comment or, if you like this, send me kudos! :-)


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